My fair share of crazy visitors

Some of you know that I work for a home builder. I manage a community sales office and such. I deal with different types of people on a daily basis depending on how busy it is etc. Well, along with that I also get my fair share of interesting visitors. My community is near the TRAX and is what we call an Urban community. Some of the visitors that come to mind are

1-the dude who drank out of my water bottle and stole a sleeve of string cheese
2-the dude that has no interest in buying a house, they just need to use the bathroom
3-the dude that acts interested but really only needs to use the bathroom
4-the dude that just wants to bust my balls and since my door says "open" he uses that as an invitation
5-dumpster divers
6-the homeless dude that just wants to "warm up" oh and use my bathroom
7- I had a toothless lady who wrote a contract and was going to wire full funds to buy the house in cash. She transferred utilities, forwarded mail etc. The promise went on for weeks and weeks, every day something prevented her from wiring the money. She was extra special crazy. Holy hell.
8-the dude that walked in with a bird literally on his shoulder
9-a buyer who had his family over to see their house and somehow the glass cover of the fireplace fell off and bashed his sisters head who was laying on the ground in front of the fireplace? WTF?
10-the dude who backed into a landscape rock and it was somehow our fault for putting the rock there
11-the dude that came in for free movie tickets that we were giving away. I think he tucked his pants in 100 times while we talked. He lingered for a long time.
12-Don't even get me started on radio remotes and free giveaways.
13- the weekend sign guy that wears brown pants EVERY time i see him. This dude is creepy and likes to stay and chat.
14- Have had several strippers come in to buy a house. Even have sold a few houses to strippers. Once in awhile they come in with their pimps. Interesting people.
15-the guy that has no job, no money and bad credit. Why are you looking at houses?

There have been several others but, this should give you a pretty good cross section. Do you have any stories like this?